New Waterloo Vice-President “Knows Nothing”

Last Thursday the University of Waterloo sent an email announcing a new appointment, however newly appointed University of Waterloo Vice-President Bob Crow apparently “knows nothing.”

Medieval Studies student Rose Grit said to The Waterloo Honk, “It’s just a feeling I have. I mean I’m sure I’ll like him, but I think he knows nothing.” This was a feeling that was shared by several other students in the Classics and Medieval Studies lounge. Meanwhile the news did not appear to have spread to the International Development students. Danielle Targair said “Crow? Bob Crow? Haven’t heard of him. Isn’t he from up north somewhere? Weird. My step brother’s name is Bob Crow, but obviously it’s not him.”

The accusations appear unfounded, Mr. Crow has served in many esteemed positions and two Masters degrees. Mr. Crow has yet to respond to the accusation that he lacks knowledge, however President Hamdullahpur said in a press statement on Wednesday that Mr. Crow “will be a light-bringer to this institution.”