Zombie Filibuster Protests Against Video Game Association

The slightly confused, but admiringly dedicated Zombie Defender, known on twitter as ZOMBI_BUSTER has been tweeting passionately all day.

The slightly confused, but admiringly dedicated Zombie Defender, known on twitter as ZOMBI_BUSTER, has been tweeting passionately all day, hoping to gain a following of filabusters.

At 9pm last night, The Waterloo Gaming Association held their monthly meeting to discuss the pros and cons of first person shooter zombie games. Ten minutes into a discussion on the logistics of hand-to-hand combat in The Last Of Us, a zombie entered the cafe, limped over to the table, and began preaching incessantly in defense of zombies.

“Of course, when you see a zombie in real life, it’s uh, it’s alarming,” said Gaming Association president Mike Snuff. “His timing couldn’t have been better though. One of us had just claimed that in real life, it would be impossible to kill a zombie with your bare hands, and then it’s like oh s***. There’s a real zombie here. Now what.”

After a few moments of panic, the situation became clear. The Zombie was merely  there for a peaceful protest. A filibusting. “He seemed to be under a misunderstanding that we were actually preparing for a zombie apocalypse, and that we should stop. We tried to explain to him that it was all cool, we’re just gamers, but every time we spoke he would do that zombie moan thing until we stopped. It was super effective.”

The young man, appearing in full zombie-wear, ‘took to the floor’ at 9:12pm and began what has now been a nearly 15 hour long speech in defense of zombies. It is clear to most that this Zombie’s actions, although perversely admirable, do not actually line up with typical filibusting procedure. By definition, filibusting is a long speech used to procrastinate or oppose a controversial bill. Although the Canadian government does on occasion discuss real zombie issues, the Gaming Association of Waterloo exclusively deals with video games.

Zombi-buster, as he has confusingly began referring to himself, seems to believe that he is opposing a real zombie attack plan. We asked Snuff for the gist of his argument: “What did he say? Oh man, it’s hard to remember, we got laughing so hard, and then we eventually got tired of it and decided to go home early and chat over Facebook. He said a lot about peace for all, treating your neighbour as yourself…at one point he got distracted and told us about his trashy housemates, I don’t know man. Like I know he wasn’t a real zombie, but it was still kind of awesome.”

Snuff later added, “Oh and he has a twitter account! He paused for a 3 minute groan session to set it up, and then spent 4 minutes begging us to follow him, and promote his hashtag.”

As of right now, June 26 4:40pm, the anonymous filibuster is reportedly still filibusting in the Waterloo Public Square. If you spot ZOMBIBUSTER, send  your photos or updates to our twitter account @thewaterloohonk. And be sure to follow @ZOMBI_BUSTER himself on twitter, who appears to be trying to make #ZOMBIBUSTING a thing.

Stay safe out there Waterloo!

Enhanced by Zemanta
Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Zombie Filibuster Protests Against Video Game Association

  1. Hello just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The words in your article seem to
    be running off the screen in Ie. I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue or
    something to do with web browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to
    let you know. The layout look great though!
    Hope you get the problem fixed soon. Many thanks

    • Thank you for the information Mr. Website. We have taken this into consideration and will be monitoring the Ie (i.e. Internet Explorer) and it’s conformity to our articles.
      Ni lassui,
      The Waterloo Honk,
      Maintanence and Translation Staff

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s