The Top 5 Dangers of The University of Waterloo

Earlier this week, The University of Waterloo shared a helpful image called “How to Avoid a Goose Attack.” The image immediately went viral, with thousands of students demanding the University provide more safety guides for all of the other dangers. The Real UW Committee of Campus Safety was born, and so was their One Step Strategy to a Safer Campus series. Featured below are the Top 5 Dangers of UWaterloo, and infallible survival instructions.


How To Avoid Your Student Loan
How to Avoid That Girl Over There
How to Avoid an Angry Wizard
How to Avoid On-Campus Construction

Other survival guides include: How to avoid an exam, How to avoid a murder of crows, How to avoid a murder, How to avoid a snow day, How to avoid a small army of ducks, How to avoid the question “What do you want to do with that degree,” and How to avoid your professor whose class you skipped this morning (which interestingly uses the same tips as How to Avoid a Goose Attack)

The University of Waterloo has tried a number of approaches to control the goose problem. For example they have allowed undergraduate students to study the phenomenon with hopes that the geese would become annoyed and leave, brought in a dog patrol, and they have yelled nasty things at the geese from windows. Despite previous efforts, the release of this survival guide has already proven the most effective.

Why fix a problem when you could just teach thousands of other people how to fix a problem!?

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