Man frightened by mutant goose

At 5:15 yesterday evening, a faculty member at the University of Waterloo claims he was approached by a mutant Canadian goose.

The goose-being emerged from Laurel Creek as the History professor attempted to cross a small bridge towards St.Jeromes. A description of the goose-being is as follows: two heads, glowing red eyes, and a “whispery voice.”

The professor was unable to report many details of the sighting, but he was able to state that after their interaction, the goose took flight and actually flew south for the winter.

Although the man seems unharmed, students are warned to keep an eye out for any unusual looking animals around Laurel Creek.

However, apparently there is nothing to fear: “There won’t be any more goose-beings,” said the man. “He was the last one.”

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